Failure is Not an Option

The other night, the fabulous Mrs. B and I were standing in the checkout line at Walmart waiting to get totaled up and bagged. Mrs. B then pointed out a cover on one of the many entertainment tabloids on display. It featured Kate, of "Jon and Kate" fame with a quote that read, "I feel like I have failed."

My wife then remarked, "Of course you feel that way, you did fail." The quote, and my wife's remark, were both in reference to the impending divorce of the former (present?) reality "stars". I nearly choked trying to type "stars" there. But this is not a treatise on modern society's celebritizing of ordinary people, so I will comment no further on that.

All this got me started thinking about failure and how we, as a culture, attempt to either justify it or, more frequently, deny it. Why is failure such a fearful word? Failure is seen as the end of everything, a deficit that is impossible to overcome, instead of a necessary experience of life. We believe if we fail at something, anything, then we are branded a failure in every facet of life. And if we fail the first time at something then we are destined to fail at every attempt at it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with failure. Failure is an integral part of success. It has to be. Anyone who had become successful without a few, if not numerous, failures usually cannot handle success. And generally doesn't succeed for long. The reason is that they cannot handle the inevitable adversity that comes with success. The ability to pick oneself up, dust themselves off, and try, try again, as the old adage goes, is essential to success. A person who has "had success thrust upon them" will be destined to fall from grace by the first adverse event to ensue.
It is not a fault in their being. It is simply a weakness of character. Character, like a muscle, is strengthened through hard labor. That labor comes in the form of adversity or failure. All men of great character have failure in their life.

All the people we consider successes have had many failures. Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, etc. have all failed. There is a quote from Jordan where he talks about how many times he has taken the winning shot in a game and how many times he has missed. The quote reads, "I have failed many times, and that's why I am a success." Jordan also said, "I can accept failure. But I can't accept not trying."

To see a time when Jordan failed, all one has to do is look at his stint in professional baseball. He probably knew that he wasn't going to make it in Major League Baseball. But that didn't stop him from trying. Many people made jokes about him and thought he looked foolish trying to play baseball. But it didn't keep him from giving his all.

Not trying is the only true failure. Because it's the only one in which we cannot learn. The secret to succeeding despite our failures lies in the ability to learn from our mistakes. Whenever a failure comes along, learn what you can from it and then move along. Go on to the next thing. Try again until you find success. Don't let fear keep you from trying. Because that, my friends, is the true definition of failure.

Life is not a walk in the park. There are many hurdles along the way. And most of us will trip over some of those hurdles in our travels. The only ones who won't, are those who don't jump. So jump away! Fall and scrape up your knees! And imagine your character getting stronger and stronger. Because failure is not an option. It comes standard.